It's Hard To Say Goodbye
by Monkey
Summary: a cassie/jake thing from 54, yes i know i should write those, but my friend asked me to, so i did. here you go, please r


A/n- hello all you ani-fans

A/n- hello all you ani-fans. I know I shouldn't write another 54 fic, but my friend wanted me to write a Cassie/Jake thing, so here it is. For something kinda forced out of me, I think it's good so why don't you read it and tell me what you think. And this song is called: What I really meant to say, and it's one of my favorite songs. Thanks for your time

Disclaimer- the song is Cyndi Thompson's and the characters are KAA's. And most of the plot belongs to me. So there.

It's Hard To Say Goodbye

I noticed a falcon heading towards Ronnie and I, and quickly got Ronnie to leave, to give me time alone with my former love, Jake. He landed, demorphed, and greeted me.

"Hi Cassie."

That had always bothered me. Here I loved him, and he was still formal with me. Well, not now. I was over him.

Jake told me about Ax, making my heart fell heavy for not keeping in touch, but I shoved it to the back of my mind and focused on what Jake was telling me.

I reluctantly told him where, Tobias was, and then he said something unexpected.

"So, how have you been?"

I opened up my mouth in surprise, but managed to get out, "Fine," and a small smile. Then he morphed and left me. Permanently left me.

__

I took me by surprise

When I saw you standing there

Close enough to touch

Breathing the same air

You asked me how I'd been

I guess that's when I smiled 

And said, "Just fine."

Oh, but baby I was lying

What I really meant to say

Is I'm dying here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

I stared at the skies for moments afterwards trying very hard not to cry. I wasn't fine. My insides were ripped apart. I guess what I really wanted to tell him is that I loved him. Still.

__

And as you walked away

The echo of my words

Cut just like a knife

Cut so deep it hurt

I held back the tears

Held onto my pride and watched you go

I wonder if you'll ever know

I walked back over to Ronnie, and began my work in silence, trying to stop my mind from evaluating the whole situation. But when I got home, I lied down in my bed and thought real hard.

Yes, I did like Ronnie. He was so similar to me, it was like we had the same thoughts. But that got boring.

Jake was exciting. I had put my life in hands countless times and he always make sure I came out okay. He cared for me despite his pressures. I admired that.

Then a thought struck me. Jake had proposed to me. He didn't formally propose, but he did all the same. I guess the weight of all the deaths, most of all Tom's and Rachel's had hit him so hard, he forgot our deal. A lifetime of love.

__

What I really meant to say

Is I'm dying here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

I had soon put his sudden reappearance in my life out of my mind and carried on with my job and my relationship with Ronnie. But a few weeks, later this all changed, again. 

I got a call from someone I didn't know. I knew by my caller ID before I even picked up the phone. I almost didn't pick it up, but something inside me told me to pick it up and say hello. That was probably the worst mistake I have ever made in my life.

In that brief minute on the phone, I found out that I was the only Animorph left. Tobias, Marco, Ax in a way, and Jake, my Jake were all dead.

What I really meant to say

Is I'm dying here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

I attended everyone's funerals, despite the fact that I knew my eyes would be a mini Niagara Falls.

I stayed longer at Jake's. After everyone was gone, I went to his grave and knelt in front of it. Wiping the cold tears from my eyes.

__

That's what I really meant to say

"Jake?" I questioned the headstone, "Did you think I really meant it? Fine? FINE? No, Jake, I'm not fine. I'm anything but fine. I miss you. I want you. I need you. I love you. Still. Forget Ronnie. Jake, you were the only one for me. What happened to forever? I though you'd always be there, and look at you now. A decaying corpse in a covered up hole in the ground. I love you, and you're dead. How could you leave me? I LOVE YOU!"

I jumped up in a rage, hearing my words echo across the silent graveyard.

I took one last look at the grave and whispered, "That's what I really meant to say," and solemnly walked away.

A/n- that's it. Isn't it wonderful? Ok, please review and then read bubba. Later I will put in the Animorph characters in this one part. Soon to come to it, the window scenes. Read to find out. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! Thanks. –Monkey/Tobias'Angel


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